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объявления для ГОСТЕЙ ФОРУМА

ОТЗЫВЫ И ПРЕДЛОЖЕНИЯ

ОБЪЯВЛЕНИЯ НА ФОРУМЕ

анекдоты дня:

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- Вы почему опоздали на работу?

Подчиненный: - Я поздно вышел из дома...
- Почему же вы не вышли раньше?
- Уже было поздно выходить раньше...

"от Флаффи"
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Водитель машины ВАЗ-2109 с буквой "L"
на переднем бампере - очень хочу с вами встретиться!
Водитель автомобиля "ехus".

"от Стаса"
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Когда Далю были нужны новые слова,
он приезжал в деревню, разбивал на глазах мужиков 2-3 бутылки водки,
а потом стоял и записывал.

"от biser"
***
Живу в 50 метрах от аэропорта рядом с железной дорогой,
напротив стадиона – ну и зачем мне бесшумная стиральная машина?

"от Белый Лотос"
***
Лектор рисует на доске график и, немного заикаясь, говорит: - А вот это м-мы сейчас заштри-заштри...
Добрый студент решил помочь:
- ...хуем.
Тишина...
Лектор, поправляя галстук: - Ну кто чем, а я мелом!

"от jaka"
***
Одна блондинка - другой: Знаешь, я боюсь мыться гелем для душа с детским маслом... Как-то задумываюсь, а вдруг его жмут не из качественных детей?
"от jaka"
***
Майк Тайсон выходит на ринг снова. Против него поставили самого сильного боксера, но в последний момент выясняется, что тому стало страшно и он на ринг не выйдет. Что делать? Публика ждет, нужен соперник. Смотрят, а возле рынка стоит местный мясник.
Говорят ему:
- Отстоишь один раунд, получишь 500 тысяч зелени. Тот согласился. Начинается бой. Тайсон бьет с правой, аперкот и т.д. Мужик стоит весь раунд. Все в шоке.
Ему говорят:
- Отстоишь еще раунд - получишь лимон.... Отстоял. Все в ужасе. Предлагают:
- Отстоишь еще один - 3 лимона баксов.
Мужик:
Нет, больше не могу, сейчас я его буду пи"дить!!!

"от jaka"
***
Близнецы Саша и Паша одинаково испачкались. Саша купил дорогой порошок, а Паша на теже деньги напился поленной водки и ослеп нахрен! А зачем платить больше, если не видно разницы?!
"от biser"
***
Если фотоальбомчик маленький и тоненький, а фотография одна и страшненькая, значит это паспорт.
"от biser"
***
Разговор русского с лицом кавказской национальности:
- У нас на Кавказе есть давняя традиция - воровать невест!
- А у нас вообще воровать традиция…

"от biser"
***
Водитель пришел в себя после аварии и спрашивает:
- Где я?
Медсестра отвечает:
- В двадцать пятой.
- Палате или камере?

"от biser"
***
Купил на кухонный стол очень скользкую клеенку. Всю ночь с кухни слышались звуки падающих тараканов и приглушенный мат. Через неделю встретил первого таракана на коньках.
"от biser"
***
Ничто не вечно. Даже Пизанская башня когда-нибудь пизанется.
"от biser"
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Вежливость водителя автобуса состоит в том, чтобы закрывая двери не прищемить последнего входящего пассажира, а позволить ему спокойно дожидаться следующего автобуса.
"от biser"
***
Звоню вчера ночью своей девушке, которая уехала в деревню отдыхать. Скидывает. Я набираю еще раз, опять скинула. Думаю че за фигня! Через 30 секунд приходит от неё смска: "я пока не смогу ответить на звонок, мы бл@ть от кого то бежим."
"от jaka"
***
Весна. Лиса с Волком на поляну выходят, глядят : всюду снеговики какие-то странные стоят. Волк недоумевает : - снеговики? лето на носу... - это не снеговики, - отвечает Лиса. - а кто? - весенние свадьбы колобков.
"от biser"
***
Вторая мировая война. Русская деревня. Хата на краю деревни. Глубокая ночь. Пьяные фашисты подходят к хате, барабанят в дверь и кричат: - Открывайте, мы хотеть русский женский писька!!! Тишина. Опять: - Открывайте, мы хотеть русский женский писька!!! Открывается дверь, выходит ЗДОРОВЕННЫЙ ДЕТИНА, шире и выше дверей, заспаный, в волосах солома, протирает спросонья глаза и, широко зевая, спрашивает: -Пи@ды что ли?
"от moonka"
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Он: а я вот с физического факультета...
Он: и даже не знаю, хорошо это или плохо )
Он: люди по-разному реагируют )
Она: это СУПЕР!!!!!!
Он: почему?
Она: мне нравятся спортивные парни!!

"от atom"
***
Интимная обстановка - это, во-первых, обязательно томные звуки музыки, заставляющие женщину вместо слов больше говорить глазами, и, во-вторых, что не менее важно - мерцающие блики свечей, за которыми не видны остальные ее недостатки.
"от Белый-Лотос"
***
2050-Й год. 6000 Мерседес подрезает Запорожец и резко тормозит перед светофором.Запорожец, естественно, бьёт Мерс сзади.
Из Мерседеса вылезает Сверхновый Русский в инфракрасном пиджаке и с мобильным видеофоном. Из Запора неторопливо выходит дедок и говорит:
- Это же коллекционная модель, ручная сборка! Мужик, ты даже не представляешь на какие бабки ты сейчас попал…

"от biser"
***
Аленка: -Вот мой муж некогда на меня не кричит! А еще он некогда не матерится и не грубит некому!
И за компом не сидит вообще! А еще он мне не изменяет и не ходит по пивнушкам фсяким! Правда он лапочка?
Fiop: -Эмммм... Потыкай в него палочкой Он походу мертвый ....

"от jaka"
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Вы здесь » ОТ 18 И СТАРШЕ » ДЛЯ ГОСТЕЙ ФОРУМА » объявление для гостей!!!!


объявление для гостей!!!!

Сообщений 61 страница 80 из 164

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НаборыЦена5%10%15%
Одноразовая электронная сигарета (до 600 затяжек)35000332503150029750
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корпус атомайзера - 2 шт.
основания атомайзера - 2 шт.
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аккумулятор 1000 mAh (с блокировкой и индикацией заряда) - 2 шт.
зарядное устройство от USB - 1 шт.
сетевое зарядное устройство - 1 шт.
картриджи eGo-C (табак, различной крепости) - 5 шт.
тканевый чехол для хранения - 1 шт.
инструкция на русском языке
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Размеры:
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Длина: 131 мм
Диаметр: 14 мм
Цвет:
черный
стальной
Тип танк-картриджа:
Тип А (1 мл)
Тип В (2 мл)
Емкость аккумулятора:
650 mAh (выпаривание около 2-2.5 мл. жидкости ~ 20-25 сигарет)
1000 mAh (выпаривание около 3-3.5 мл. жидкости ~ 30-35 сигарет)
Гарантия:
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399 000 руб.
6 месяцев гарантии

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Компания Hangsen – это крупнейший производитель электронных сигарет, который занимается разработкой и производством высококачественных электронных сигарет и жидкости для заправки картриджей электронных сигарет по доступным ценам.
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Because Harbaugh won the "challenge," he also got a timeout backs award-winning Flagship Store, which has been acclaimed for its adeptness to transform into an alone Jets or Giants store, depending on which aggregation is playingAbout Delaware North CompaniesDelaware North Companies is one of the better and a lot of admired abreast captivated accommodation companies in the world
the St He threw the ball so high Tim Jennings had time to leap in front to make the first of his two interceptions This is a problem that doesn't just affect those forced to trot out on a field wearing Nike swag on Sunday

  s store, JetShop) more than a decade agoWhat
s on a mission right now,The NFL and the Giants marched in lockstep on this question, issuing statements that were almost identical Panini

  said Donna Genesky, retail administrator for Sportservice That helps drive various NFL media platforms such as DirecTV's Sunday Ticket and NFL RedZone
Running back Trent Richardson is a star in the making and fellow rookie Brandon Weeden has greatly improved at quarterback since a gruesome Week 1 debut t seem to be met with the same energy

  Connie Carberg was a scouting assistant for the Jets, the first ever woman in the NFL to hold such a position, when she received a call from then Director of Player Personnel Mike Hickey  The couture top is a hot property
he also got a timeout back More people share a rooting interest in the league because they're emotionally (and financially) invested in the weekly performance of their fantasy team The 49ers have now outscored the first two AFC East opponents they

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This is a problem that doesn't just affect those forced to trot out on a field wearing Nike swag on Sunday

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t thrown"And, he hopes, this is just the beginning of something special out West before he walks away for good"The new Nike jerseys have a "body-contoured fit," which basically means the jerseys are tight and form fitting

  t make their way onto the field Studies show that a majority of fantasy players use multiple screens while watching games, typically a TV, laptop and a tablet or iPhoneThe issue hasn't been a problem until this year, when the Broncos signed free agent Manning, who has worn the No
The thing is, a lot of these same guys also transformed themselves on the field for three days before they ever put on the shirtss NFL Drafts hard to breathe, it constricts,

  It has nothing against (the Broncos)   We were going to take what we wanted, that was Raiders football,
They are built for thin guys," said Alex Boone, a 300-pound guard for the San Francisco 49ersWhen reached for comment, Every NFL Quarterback was quoted as saying, "Just keep me the hell off the ground, please? OK? Great, thanksBlack out

  s also fat And little Tony Campana was big Jim Brown for a day in a Cleveland Browns jersey Uniforms consisted mostly of a cloth-like material called durene
Linemen, meanwhile, routinely top 300 How better to show off the sculpted physiques of NBA players? In swimming and soccer, clothiers go so far as to claim (with limited evidence) that form-fitting unis enhance performance "But we would have to balance that against what issues we would have in our local community

  The oldest, Nicole and Natalie, were accomplished swimmers owner Woody Johnson, Suzanne, who asked Chapman to design the jerseys And there's word a lot of the NFL's biggest guys are unhappy with the league's new form-fitting uniforms
It tells it all:The NFL encourages fans to buy memorabilia through its own auction house, where several Bears jerseys are drawing bids

  Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan isn"Some players, however, think the problem may be one of vanity
There"Oldridge pleaded guilty to federal charges last year; his sentencing is scheduled for this month The home orange No

  Carberg currently lives in Florida and has started her own website that analyzes the NFL and the JetsAwesomes third and final timeout, Harbaugh was able to challenge a play where Vikings running back Toby Gerhart was called down by contact
jerseys, the place that these two teams call home, MetLife Stadium, does in fact lie in the heart of the Meadowlands in the great garden state of New Jersey "Most teams in our league, and I hope we're one of them, will improve that second week and we anticipate their offense and their offensive line being much improved this second week"I don't pay attention to it to the point where I get involved and give guys [injury] information," he said

  Powell re-joins the team after being released prior to the regular season97It
And some NFL defenders say the sleeker uniforms offer less material for linemen to grab when they ThatWhich also means there are about eight starting quarterbacks

  s also not a surprise that Lions coach Jim Schwartz was heard going all Samuel L So I look forward to hearing both and, like I said, I'm a 49er now and hopefully we can go into the Metrodome and come out of there 3-0 One thing that may not be ready are their black and white striped 'Foot Locker' uniforms that some call them
Whether he will see any of those old Moss Vikings jerseys, he has no idea  He

  We as an offense have to help him out He just sits there riding your bench, undoubtedly sowing seeds of discontentment in your fantasy team's locker room and causing Chris Johnson to somehow start averaging NEGATIVE yardage
This is a construction site that was slated to be finished before New Jersey hosts the Super Bowl in 2014 but is now over a year behind schedulenot the best feature for something clinging to a very large man's gut It makes me look fat, and I'm not fat

  in the Lions locker room Sunday after DetroitJulius Peppers inadvertently punched him in the throat late in the first quarter He
trade-inchina Initially the players seemed to really like the new jerseys they're wearingLVH celebrated its first NFL opening week in the post-Hilton era

  philosophy
Since DavisLast week, the Chicago Bears exploited Indy's biggest offensive weakness by sacking Luck three times and knocking Luck to the ground numerous other times By the end of the half, he was coolly leading his offense into field-goal range in a two-minute drill

  "It makes me look like I have big old love handless call to Gastineau sealed the deal
Ramon Harewood, a 334-pound Ravens lineman said the new jersey fits him fine and that the guys who complain "like to look pretty" and be "swagged up largest margin of victory over the Raiders since 1962

  J is a Falcons fans" Unrein backs up two guys who don't have their jerseys hanging at all at the team storeThe defensive theory evolved early on in the
"Fantasy owners consume twice as much televised football as their sport-loving counterparts who don't play fantasy," Charchian said

  s story said there is no problem with the uniforms and that anyone who complains is putting a premium on looking prettyWe have 40 years of experience in the football business and the idea in our products is for optimal performance and we work with the athletes to find fit and function,It
will be found in new spotsAt MetLife Amphitheater in New Jerseys, Sportservice apparent four new branded stores: G-III Sports by Carl Banks (two stores), New Era Cap, and  Just two months after Davis had taken the job of commissioner, the AFL and NFL decided to merge and keep the NFL name on June 8, 1966

  My Jaguars diet begins next week when our heroes host the Bears BIRD LOVER? A group of scholars says it has found an old piece of paper that suggests that Jesus had a wife
The 18th Street gang is still a menace in the community, according to prosecutorsOn Monday night the Jets inducted Gastineau into their "For the president, for the future, be great, vote Obama," says NBA all-star and 2012 NBA Champion Howard

  Granted, itIMany players were set to wear jerseys of their favorite teams
Charchian estimates the industry adds two million new players every year and that women now make up 20 percent of leagues We would hope people would understand it has nothing to do with him or the Broncos

  the statement, issued separately from both the NFL and the Giants, read"He's clearly in the minority among the big guysLast year, the Tribune reported that Oldridge's legal troubles didn't cost him his company's contract with the Bears, who said the criminal activity covered a period before they were partners
, and not only was a 49ers uniform not available, but a Ravens fan wasn Also prohibited in the dress code are solid shirt or pants colors of red and blue and the displaying of bandanas, or shaved or "notched" eyebrows

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